The four pillars Patience (`sabar`), Information (`khabar`), Insight (`nazar`) and Guts (`jigar`)

 

Often I have heard from people that India is not a poor country, but a poorly managed country. Similarly, many of us are not really poor, but manage our lives poorly.

We in India are blessed with amazing conventional wisdom; it is our responsibility to ensure that we put to practice things that we are taught by our parents, and teachers. I remember being told by an elder, that in order to live an enriched life, one must develop patience (`Sabar`), be informed, (`khabar`), develop a keen sense to see (`nazar`) and develop the gumption to do the needful (`jigar`).

In order for us to live rich lives, we need to develop the virtue to be patient (`sabar`) and invest in our relationships, and keep ourselves informed about what is it that is happening in their lives and to ensure that we develop the right perspectives, and if need be either encourage them or guide them to do the right things.

I have been blessed with a father, who is an amazing person, who has practiced the four pillars. I joined his business as a junior partner in the year 2000. Our company`s name is Think Inc, we are involved in publishing books and conducting learning seminars in various organisations. As a senior partner, he taught me many things, but at all times he would practice the virtue of patience. Very often, during business discussions, I would start to argue, and often leave the room in anger. Every time, I would leave his room abruptly, he would invariably call me after a few hours, as I would have cooled off considerably by then. He would request me to come back to him, and resume the discussions. Very often, I would come back and apologize for my abrupt behaviour, and he would always, graciously accept my apologies. Over the years, I triggered many abrupt walkouts, but one thing I was sure was that he would always call for me.

After some years, I realized the foolish pattern that I was mindlessly following, walk out abruptly and then wait for him to call me. So I asked him one day ` Papa, very often I leave abruptly, and often, it is I who am at fault, but you always call me, don`t you at times feel that instead of you calling, you should wait for me to call you first``

He looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes and said `I love you very much; I will never allow my ego to come in between our relationship. He told me that it takes two to create a conflict, but only one to resolve it. Since you are my son, I keep myself informed of what you are doing, and even if you are making mistakes, as long as they are not going to be disastrous, I remain patient. I realize, you will learn from your mistakes much better, than if you were to always ask for my guidance, before doing anything. Yes I am alert, if I feel you are about to cross the lakshman rekha, I have the guts (`jigar`) to stop you. Also my son, you are the gate keeper to my granddaughter and grandson, who are your daughter and your son, and I will never be foolish enough to jeopardize my ability to keep in touch with them.

Unlike in the movie Kabhi Kushi, Kabhi Gum, in which the father being played by Amitabh Bachan and son being played by Shah Rukh Khan, who allow the conflict to snow ball, and finally resolve the issue after 10 long years, I am blessed to have a father who is practicing and teaching me by his example, by practicing the four pillars to manage one`s life. Please practice `Sabar`, `Khabar`, `Nazar` and `Jigar` and constantly improve your abilities to live enriched lives.

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