Listening makes you popular


Take time to understand and reflect on what people are saying

There’s a big difference between hearing  simply receiving communication  and truly listening  the art of paying attention towards understanding the message being delivered. Unlike simply hearing someone’s account, listening requires maintaining eye contact, watching a person’s body language, asking for clarification, and reading between lines for the unspoken message.

Most people fail to listen carefully because they’re too caught up with themselves instead of the person they’re listening to.

The best way to establish a rapport with people and win them over is to be truly ‘interested’ in them, to listen with the intention of really learning about them, and concentrating on what they are trying to express. When the speaker feels that you are really interested in getting to know their feelings, they will open up to you and share their true feelings.

If you want people to cooperate with you, to like you, or to open up to you, you must be interested in them. Instead of focusing on yourself, start focusing on others. When you think more about others than you do about yourself, you feel less stressed, and you can act and respond with more intelligence. When you are genuinely interested, people respond to you  they want to be around you.

Einstein was once invited to a number of colleges to give lectures on his theory. He hired a driver to take him around. The driver asked Einstein for permission to attend these lectures. After listening to the same lecture a number of times, the driver learnt it by heart and asked Einstein if he could give the same lecture in one of the colleges, pretending to be Einstein. Once the driver was able to deliver the speech, somebody from the audience asked him a question. The driver had no clue what the answer was, so he pointed to Einstein and said that his driver would answer this question.

Without listening to questions being asked, we give answers that are unrelated. It is, therefore, crucial that we actually ‘listen’ to what is being asked before attempting to answer.

One of the most powerful communication tools is a series of four questions that you can ask.
– If we were meeting three years from today, what would make you feel happy about your progress? – What are the biggest dangers you will have to face and deal with?
– What are the biggest opportunities that you have to focus on?
– What strengths will you need to reinforce, and what skills will you need to develop?