Don’t make mountains out of molehills
When you have low self-esteem, your attitude and behaviour depends upon others around us. Mercury inside the thermometer rises when the temperature outside is high; and falls when the temperature outside is low. Many of us behave like the thermometer, our self-esteem rises and falls according to what others say and feel about us. Sometimes, situations we face also define our self-belief and attitude towards others. There is a Hindi saying in relation to this, and which goes something like, ‘Nap tol ke bolo.’ I’d like to make a constructive addition to it, ‘Nap tol ke suno’. It is important that we are deliberate in what we speak, because it affects others. It is equally important that we are deliberate when we listen.
Remember the fable of a man and his son travelling with a donkey? Here it is-
Initially, the man rides the donkey while his son walks alongside. Passers-by advise the man to walk while his young son rides the animal, so he puts his son atop the donkey. A new set of ‘advisors’ commented on how shameless the son was to be riding the donkey while his father struggled along. So the man sat behind his son on the donkey, yet another set of people commented on the atrocity to the poor animal, so father and son got off and started walking alongside the animal.However, there was another set of passers-by who commented on their folly they had a donkey but weren’t riding it.
Many of us give others a chance to affect how we feel and act. It is important to learn that, despite the opinions of others, how we act is important for us to lead fulfilling lives. While it is important to have advisors, we need to ensure that we choose the right ones.
Also equally important is that we decide for ourselves the difference between right and wrong. Otherwise, we run the risk of becoming timid.
Take 100 per cent responsibility for your life. Wrongdoing on another’s part is a cause for concern. But our own low self-esteem will push us to discuss these concerns, making a mountain out of a molehill.