Don’t let small irritants in your relationship fester if you want to avoid misunderstandings
A lot of trivia in our day-to-day life doesn’t matter and worrying about it is a waste of time. But some details, however small and harmless they may seem, need to be addressed. Identifying these little things and attending to them is crucial.
A good example of this is a story of two monks. There was once a senior monk and a junior monk. The senior monk was mentoring the junior monk and gives him a list of dos and donts. One of the donts is to stay away from women as monks are celibate.
The next day, both the monks are ready to cross a shallow river when they come across a young beautiful woman. She was wearing a long dress and waiting on the riverbank. She wanted to cross the river but was concerned about getting her dress wet and soiled. Without uttering a word, the senior monk, picks up the woman and carries her to the other side of the river. She thanks him profusely and they part ways.
But the young monk is upset with his mentor and gets angrier by the hour. He remembers the senior monk telling him to stay away from women. Finally, unable to contain his anger, he accuses his mentor of being a hypocrite.
The senior monk is calm and lets the young monk continue with his tirade. He waits for him to calm down and then says, “While I have helped the lady to the other side of the river and left her there, you are still carrying her in your mind.” Further, the senior monk explains, he viewed the woman as someone in need and did not judge her on the way she looked. The young monk realises his mistake.
It is important to be aware of the discontent you experience in your relationships and communicate with each other to prevent misunderstanding, which is often the result of jumping to conclusions. You must deal with the small irritations and discuss them. This will free your energy and help you focus on developing powerful relationships.
Begin right now with a simple checklist of the things that leave you gritting your teeth or fuming and things that make you laugh or smile. Communicate this to the people around you. Encourage others to share their list with you. This will let you make positive changes and you will have more meaningful and fulfilling relationships in your life.