Stay out of the JAR – Jealousy, Anger and Revenge. The three most destructive emotions we need to regulate in ourselves to live great lives. We are having more and more today, than in any time in history, yet, along with material prosperity, Jealousy is on the rise, leading people to becoming angry and many succumbing to revenge.
With competition on the rise, there is an acute need for us to regulate our mind, to keep jealousy, anger and revenge (JAR) at bay. When we make our lives a series of contests, constantly driven by scores of wins and losses, we are driven into the JAR.
There is a beautiful thought that will help us to remain free of JAR. The saying is attributed to Miyamoto Musashi, the legendary Japanese Samurai, who pursued perfection in the art of sword fighting. The main intent of any martial art is not to win, or to beat the opponent, but to become better and better than our former selves. The saying goes as, “ I HAVE NO JEALOUSY NOR ANIMOSITY TOWARDS OTHERS, AS LONG AS I KNOW THAT I HAVE PUT FORTH MY OWN BEST EFFORT”
The best is when all of us become better and better, compared to our former selves, regardless of whether we win or loose. The worst is when a person who has won, has made winning the only thing, driving him or her to take short cuts, in the process victory comes at the expense of lowering of standards. If others happen to be ahead of us, let them inspire us to become better, and if they are behind us, let us inspire them to become better. We will create a perpetual cycle of improvement.
Geet Sethi, the great Indian Billiards player has beautifully emphasized in his book, Success vs. Joy, to pursue doing, whatever you do for the joy of doing, making success incidental, this way success will follow. If we pursue success at the expense of joy, we end up making success hollow, on the other hand if we pursue what we do for the joy of it, we will commit ourselves to constant improvement.