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In a relationship with yourself

relationshipssGetting along well with yourself and others is the crucial ingredient for a happy and prosperous life. The first step is to build a relationship with yourself.

Appreciate yourself and realise that you can make a difference in other peoples’ lives

Getting along well with yourself and others is the crucial ingredient for a happy and prosperous life. The first step is to build a relationship with yourself. In my seminars, I ask participants to close their eyes for a minute and visualise the five faces most important to them. After the minute is over, I ask them to write down the names of faces they have visualised. In most cases, participants visualise others  their parents, relatives, friends and co-workers. They seldom visualise themselves.

The reason: Few are encouraged to think and be aware of themselves. When a child starts to walk around and learns to be independent, elders usually tell the child dos and dont’s in a dogmatic and intimidating manner. Growing up among a barrage of commands, many of us never develop a healthy self-image.

The two pillars of having healthy relationships are a great relationship with oneself and a great relationship with others.

To build a healthy sense of self-esteem, you have to
– Love yourself and believe in yourself
– Treat yourself well, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually
– Eat well and exercise
– Wear good clothes and maintain a clean and hygienic space around yourself
– Read good books, listen to good music, and watch good movies to feed the mind with good information
– Forgive yourself often. Guilt is negative energy. If you make a mistake, learn from it and move on
– Learn and practice meditation and reflect on who you are and how you can make a positive difference to the people around you
– Thank people around you for doing great things for you. When you thank others you will feel important, as others help you because you mean something to them.

Once you feel important yourself, move on to make others around you feel important. You have the power to do that. When you see someone you care about, express your concern and the feelings you have for them, verbally and non-verbally. Applaud them when they do something right. The other person will feel important, and that will endear you to them. When you meet your family members, co-workers and friends, look them in the eye and tell them you care. You will see  and feel  the difference.

Recently, I had gone to the movies. Before entering the theatre, I approached the ice-cream stand to get a butterscotch cone. As I was approaching the ice-cream stand, I saw the youngster behind the counter looking rather sad. I walked up to him, widened my eyes and with enthusiasm, told him that he had the most powerful job in the world. I went on to explain that the scoop he held made a difference to the amount of ice-cream a person got in his cup. All he had to do was to put a bit extra with his scoop and make people happy.

After that, he smiled and asked me what I wanted. I told him. With a renewed energy, he scooped out a large serving of butterscotch making me jump in excitement. I could see that it had made a difference to him. We all have the power to feel like we can influence others. Let us do it and live great lives.